|
Question:
I'm very unhappy in my marriage and am strongly considering an affair. I feel I need this for me and don't see how it can hurt. What's the worst that can happen?
Peggy's Response:
I am aware of some true horror stories about "the worst that can happen," but since they don't represent what normally happens in affairs, I don't dwell on those unusual situations. However, it's probably wise to at least be aware of what CAN happen in extreme circumstances.
I have been granted permission to share these stories if I thought it would help someone (especially if they're considering an affair). So here are 3 short, sad stories that should cause anyone to stop and think more seriously about the possible ramifications of embarking on an affair:
True Horror Story #1
A man (an executive that traveled quite a bit) started an affair with a woman that he apparently planned to leave his wife for, and marry. When he confronted his wife, the resulting uproar convinced him to reconsider (plus, there were four young kids at home that he would have 'lost' in the resulting divorce). When he tried to break off the affair, his lover became so distraught that she shot him. He left a bitter widow and 4 fatherless kids. The youngest son has no memory of his father, except as a cheater who paid the ultimate price. Very sad for everyone, especially
since it was the only legacy the man left. (This story about the father was shared with me by one of his children.)
True Horror Story #2
A man who was a prominent politician in a large Southern city had numerous affairs. His last lover was convinced that he would divorce his wife and marry her. When the lover finally realized he never intended to do that, she actually hired a distant relative to shoot the wife in her own home. The shock of the murder gave the husband a massive coronary. He lingered for 4 months, then died, bedridden and broken, leaving 3 children (one a young adult and the other 2 teens) orphaned.
True Horror Story #3
A police officer suspected his wife of having an online affair, which was correct. Her Internet lover was pressing her to meet him when the husband discovered the incriminating emails. She panicked, and fatally shot herself.
NOTE: While these stories sound too bizarre to be true (more like the stuff of badly-written novels), they are real-life stories that are part of public record. I share them in case somewhere down the road they could help save a life.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Note: The above Question/Response is one of many previous ones I have written that address this issue. All of these questions and responses are now organized together in Collection 3: Involved in or Affected by Affairs.
For more information, listed below are the 55 questions from Collection 3 relating specifically to this issue.
|
Married and Having an Affair
|
Help for those who had affairs?
Coping with my affair
I'd like to stop...
What do I do about my affair?
Why can't I do the "right" thing?
How can I move on when I feel so ashamed?
What should I do?
How do I deal with the guilt from my affair?
How can an affair be forgiven?
Can I risk telling her the truth?
What should I do now?
How can we end our affair?
What about "helping" her to get caught?
Should I have an affair?
Why do I dream of someone else?
Am I nuts to get involved?
How do I know what I really want?
Which man and which lifestyle?
Why won't he believe me?
What about extenuating circumstances?
Best friends who also have sex
No sexual desire for spouse
A Younger Man
Friendship to affair...
I Wish I Knew
Loving Two Women
I want both
Marital crisis
Affairs are Confusing
Very Confused
Southern Gentleman
To Tell or not To Tell?
Do I have to tell on myself?
How much is "too much" to tell?
Should I be completely honest even if I'm leaving my marriage?
Am I unconsciously looking for something?
What if you don't really know the answer to questions?
How can I do the right thing?
What type of woman am I?
Why doesn't he believe me?
How can the person who had an affair deal with the guilt she feels?
What can be done by the one who had an affair?
What can I do about my guilt?
What about the feelings of guilt by the person who had an affair?
Waiting in limbo and wondering?
What's the worst that can happen?
Can you be addicted to your spouse?
Husband keeping total tabs on me?
How can I help her see there is hope?
Continuing contact with the third party?
Moving on after having an affair?
Should I tell him about my affair?
When you have an affair with your first love?
What if the pastor has an affair?
Is it common for a pastor to have an affair?
|
| 
